Cleaning Out My Bookcase, Pt 1.

Found a set of poems I don’t remember writing…storing them here.

The Session.

warm tones beneath and enveloping/ soft yet insightful conversations/ life, art flows from melody to voice to story to melody/ gentle pauses and low crescendos build moments, hesitations even/ of peace, echoed with full, idle breaths/ an overwhelming liftedness/ my thoughts still drawn to you/ you never leave me/ reflective moments, smiles nearly etched/ these are friends and loves and family, such union rarely experienced/ beyond these four walls a comfort/ pulling, drawing from the loose circle/ a picturesque twinkling of the eye/ I need you most at night/ I am most certain I need you

Untitled I.

I know you all too well/ the story you tell I helped you write/ the smile you wear I placed/ and yet we are still here/ our outsides not reflecting how bitterly we are in love/ we treat it like a sickness/ on constant search for cure/ you comfort yourself in her/ I cry the tears for us/ you seek a refuge for me from my sadness/ I seek an eternal spotlessness, a delete from our memories/ time to move on, I count the days/ and you strap tight to maybes and ifs

our chapter’s closed, my schedule’s open/ dining with him, drinks with her/ my bed’s still warm/ it’s less lonely here alone/ you text, you call, I smile quietly/ let the voicemail do the talking/ wait til the sting goes before the words start/ and laugh; I’m doing better/ and sure you can too/ or try to/ I’m kind of feeling myself/ reflections don’t lie/ and every window I pass stretches that ego

so we pass, I smile/ you stop, you stare, you remember/ at night you feel where I once was/ pillows faint with my unremarkable, unforgettable scent/ no, you won’t forget/ yes, your heart will always skip/ and I will always smile

Untitled II.

I want to hide in you/ nestle myself in the midnight of your locs/ curl myself in the hershey of your skin/ shelter myself in the place your aspirations and inspirations dwell/ my peace and torment arise and falter with you/ my soldier, my strength and weakness all drawn from you/ you are my paradox, my heartbreak and heartbeat/ twisted and blended as one/ you make me lose my words in the most eloquent of ways/ I fucking love you

I hate that you taught me longing/ and independence/ and codependence/ and, fuck it, dependence/ I get… I find… I lose…/ I lose what fleeting grace I can muster with you/ and yet you… / there are no words for you/ just cliches/ and the overly obsessive desire to give you every atom in my being/ til time itself draws her last breath/ I fucking love you/ that’s really all there is to it/ and despite myselves/ you love me too/ and that says it all

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